Under the Boardwalk
by Eternal Contradiction
Summary: A cute little bikini. A blond haired cutie. Evil flipflops. Relena never thought a little vacation could get so... interesting.


Relena almost laughed in delight as a soft breeze fluttered in her loose hair, causing it to brush against the bare skin of her arm. Her skin was dewy with sweat and sun-block, causing a few strands to cling stubbornly. She slid her index finger down the front of her hairline and flipped the obstinate locks behind her. The casual movement placed her in the same category of dozens of other women sauntering along the wooden walkway. Today, Relena Dorlian was a beach babe.

She swung her glittery, plastic tote over her shoulder. The straps bit into her shoulder, refusing to stay in place. Sliding on her pink sunglasses, she easily blended with everyone else on the boardwalk. Cute. Touristy. And completely kitsch.

Relena slowly walked along the front of novelty tourist shops, giving the appearance of a beautiful young blond with no obligations and an obsession with shopping. In reality, she was regretting the decision to wear heeled, plastic sandals with no strap on the ankle. Her feet kept slipping off, or the heel would get caught in a gap in the wood, causing her to walk at a pace which would make a snail proud.

Slipping a quick look over her shoulder, she quickly scanned the walkway for anyone who looked to be following her. She wasn't as worried about risks to her life as she was about security catching up with her. It didn't appear like anyone was trailing her. Yet.

She took another step. Her adorable little transparent heel slipped in between a nice sized gap in the wooden planks. Relena lurched forward, flapping her arms in the way only extremely klutzy people and birds do. Her right hand smashed against someone. She tried to mutter an apology, but the only thing that came out of her mouth was a shocked screech as the heel snapped and she fell sideways. People jumped out of her way in an egocentric act of self-preservation.

She landed in a jarring thud, half on the board walk and half in the mounding sand. The breath wheezed out of her lungs in a muffled 'ouph.' Stunned, she barely noticed as spectators shifted their eyes in curiosity or openly watched as if she were a gory murder victim.

"Geez lady, you alright?" A dark haired guy looked down at her, straight hair covering his eyes.

Relena looked up, ready to automatically reply that she was fine. But she wasn't sure yet. She couldn't really feel her foot. She did notice, however, that the guy was looking at her a bit too intently for her liking. Frantically, she looked down at her bikini top to make sure it was in place. Yep, everything was covered that needed to be. She finally figured out that she had no feeling her foot because it was still trapped in the shoe. The moment she realized that, the throbbing pain began. Gundammit.

"Fine." She pursed her lips, trying to block out the pain. The last time she had hurt this badly, Duo had turned on a gag soundtrack of a machine gun and an overeager security guard had tackled her down the stairs. She'd wanted him fired for accidentally elbowing her in the eye and giving her a shiner. Heero promoted him.

The stranger carefully pulled her foot out of the shoe. His cool hands made her jump in surprise. "Look, sweetie, I'm an intern." He carefully moved her ankle around, feeling the bones for breaks. His thumb pressed into a sensitive part of her foot.

Relena flinched. "Yeah, to what? Law?" She replied scathingly. She could feel her skin heat with embarrassment.

He laughed. "You'll be fine. Slight sprain." He yanked her shoe out of the sidewalk and handed it to her. She grabbed it, looking at the broken plastic in disgust. She grabbed the matching shoe off her other foot and tossed them both at a nearby garbage can. One went in with nothing but net, the other bounced off the rim and rebounded straight at her. She raised her arms in a defensive block. The shoe didn't even come close to hitting her. The intern laughed again.

He got to his feet, easily tossing out the sandal. He offered a hand and helped her up. Sand streamed from her blond hair and adhered to her back. Relena started the hopeless gesture of brushing it off. Luckily the blue sarong balanced across her hips kept most of the granules from her legs. The doctor-in-training patted her shoulder and left. Relena was left alone, injured and humiliated. At that moment, she wished she hadn't skipped out on her security.

She hobbled across the walkway, grimacing at what could possibly be under her bare feet and into the nearest store. Ignoring most of the merchandise, she headed straight towards the clothing section. It took her a second to pick out the cheapest and most comfortable pair of flipflops available. She turned towards the cash, intent on making her purchase and getting out of there, when a t-shirt display caught her eye. The picture was a caricature of a huge man lying on the beach tanning, with a caption beneath which said 'whale watching.' It was completely insulting and offensive. Duo would love it.

Relena exited the store with her purchases, almost knocking into a man with his back to her. She glanced at the cute blond curls peeking out from beneath a baseball cap. Relena usually didn't go for blonds, but what she could see of this one was pretty darn fine. Too bad he was one of those jerks who dominated the whole sidewalk. Like so many of the young men, he seemed to be searching for his girlfriend in the crowds of giggling females.

Relena's flipflops: stealthy they were not. She tried to ignore the way they plucked every time she took a step. She had always hated the offensive little wedges of foam. She had barely walked the length of two stores before she almost bumped into someone else searching the crowd. For an anxious moment she thought they had found her, but then the guy wove to someone and moved on. A relieved sigh emerged from her lips.

She checked her bikini top… still there.

Once again she subtly looked over her shoulder. She noticed blondy was still looking for someone, but other than that she couldn't tell if anyone should worry her or not. As the day progressed, the beach area got more and more packed. She thought she'd feel safer in a crowd, but instead she felt more confined and at risk. Now she knew why Heero always looked so uptight when she spoke at rallies.

Well, Heero always looked uptight, so maybe that wasn't a good example.

A couple walked out of café holding hands; in their free hands, each had a cool, frosty glass of iced coffee. Relena was jealous. Not so much of the coupleship as the cold drink. It wouldn't really hurt if she got one, and maybe run the chilly cup over her bare stomach and the back of her neck. It was such a basic daydream. Relena relaxed her pose a bit and walked into the coffee bar.

The line was long enough that she had enough time to read the whole menu, decide what she wanted, and then mentally debate her choice until she had no clue what to get. Someone edged in behind her, and before she realized what was happened, the neck of her halter bikini was yanked upwards.

Relena yelped in shock, and managed to grasp the cloth just before she fell out of it. Either years of training in any self-defense lesson Heero could think of or sheer feminine desperation kept her from flashing the whole room. This was one problem even Heero couldn't have foreseen. With a twirl of long blond hair and furious blue eyes, she turned to confront the perverted attacker. Standing behind her was a scrawny young teenager with red hair and charming freckles. He looked stunned.

Relena took a breath, trying to calm down. There was no point yelling at the little kid.

"What's wrong with you?" She shrieked. Screw being calm, he had just tried to steal the only thing coming between her and above-the-waist nudity. She had thought the idea of wearing her bathing suit top to the beach like a lot of the other girls was a daring and very un-Relenaesque thing to do. It was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth.

"I thought you were my sister." The boy put his hands in front of him, palms up. If he was trying to look innocent, she wasn't buying it.

"You'd do that to your sister?" Relena considered whacking him with her tote bag. There really wasn't anything in it which would cause enough damage. If only she had kept those shoes.

"Uh…" He shifted his eyes and then bolted. Smart kid.

She turned back into her place in line and found she was up. Goodie. She checked her boob placement before ordering.

With a strawberry-mango-mocha-fudge icy in her hand, she left the store slurping and almost dying of pleasure. She walked over to the railing between the stores and the beach, leaning against the wood. The blond guy in the baseball cap was standing a few feet away. He ripped his sunglasses off his face in frustration and turned from the beach to look in her direction.

Relena ignored him and placed the cup on the base of her neck. She may have whimpered breathlessly. She took another sip, watching from the corner of her eye as blondy watched her with open appreciation. She had to admit, he had a gorgeous body. Maybe she could convince him to go dark.

Warning bells went off in her head. Mentally, she replayed him taking off his sunglasses.

Oh shit.

The face wasn't the same. She turned and stared. But with temporary cheek implants and some makeup…

The look on his face turned from a leer to a shocked goggle.

"Hello Heero." She greeted, relishing in the wide-eyed stare he was giving her. It wasn't often she got Heero to express anything but cold indifference and sometimes fury.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He jammed his sunglasses into the front pocket of his shirt and took an intimidating step towards her.

"I don't think that is any of your business." Relena replied haughtily, trying to work up apathy to the way he was treating her. Unfortunately, it was hard to do since his gaze hadn't left her chest. She slurped some of her drink, letting the condensation from the glass drip down between her breasts.

Heero was captivated.

Relena was amused. Who knew he could be such a… guy?

She was suddenly very glad she had worn the bikini.

"I can make it my business." He replied, stepping directly in front of her in a threatening manner. His knuckles brushed against the bare skin of her stomach.

Relena gasped, lifting her head to look in his eyes. The eyes were completely Heero; dangerous, foreboding, and that softness he got just around her. She labeled it affection. It could also be mild annoyance.

He took her upraised face as an invitation. He kissed her, grabbing her waist with his quick, unhesitant hands and hauling her up against him.

Heero released her. Relena almost dropped her drink. Then she considered pouring it over herself to cool down.

"I want you…" Heero growled, voice low and menacing.

"Yes." She replied breathlessly.

"To put on more clothing." He finished.

She stared at him, not quite comprehending what was going on. Then she considered throwing the drink in his face instead. How could he kiss her in order to make her bend to his will? He was such a cold, frustrating ogre.

"EUGH." She snarled, pushing him away from her so they weren't touching at all. "Hold this." Thrusting her melting drink at him, she stalked down the sidewalk. Within seconds he was walking beside her. She supposed it was better than him following at a short distance. From the corner of her eye she saw him take a drink from the pink plastic straw. Somehow he made the fruity little drink masculine. Now that was talent.

Heero's eye twitched suddenly. "What is this?"

"A strawberry-mango-fudge-mocha something or other."

He took another sip. She couldn't tell if he hated it and was using it to further his tough immunity to everything, or if he actually liked the taste.

"Unfortunately I don't have any clothes with me, so we'll have to go back to the hotel. I gotta pee first." She dashed into a nearby bathroom, catching the slight frown on his face. Damn. She must have given in too easily. Quickly, she grabbed a wig out of her beach tote and started ramming her hair under it. When that was done, she yanked off the blue sarong clinging to her legs and stood in a pair of jeans cut-off indecently short. She had been too self-conscious to show off both her legs and torso. Now the extra clothes made an excellent disguise. Lastly, she grabbed the garish shirt she had bought Duo and put it on. It utterly covered the short shorts, but at least she looked like a completely different girl.

If only Heero didn't notice.

She walked out a brunette, pretending not to have a care in the world. Her bag was turned inside out and sunglasses put away. The only thing she was wearing exactly the same were the infernal flipflops. He still narrowed his eyes at her. Relena's heart was pounding as she walked away, but he didn't move to follow. The little cautious voice in her head screamed at her not to run, while her adrenaline screamed run! Run away! Heero may not notice a brunette in an ugly shirt, but he sure would notice a brunette running away from him in an ugly shirt. He wasn't looking murderous or intimidating today, so there was no reason for anyone to scamper off. She walked through an opening in the railing and trudged through the sand. She didn't really have a plan where to go.

Sighing, she grabbed the sarong out of her bag and spread it on the ground. It was a sad day when she tried to trick Heero just for the sake of tricking Heero. They had been getting more and more obstinate around each other. Hilde said it was UST. Relena believed she was just getting tired of Heero being perfect.

The overweight, slightly burned, middle aged man next to her took one look at her shirt and rolled to his feet. He yanked down his tight swimsuit, grabbed his stuff off the ground, yanked down his swimsuit again and hurried off, looking at her as if she were the scum of the earth.

Relena looked embarrassed, and then jerked the shirt over her head. She'd tell Duo the story when she gave him his gift. He'd appreciate it. She checked her bikini. Good bikini, it was still in place.

She flopped down on the sand, exposing herself to the harmful rays of the sun, waiting for skin cancer or Heero, whichever found her first. As the minutes progressed, she was beginning to think it would be the former.

A shadow blocked the sun from her body for a second as someone walked by her. She squinted up. That was the easiest way to get wrinkles. Carefully, she eased the muscles in her face and settled back. No more peeking.

Relena sensed the company beside her a second before the ice cold stream of water splattered along her stomach. She gasped in shock at the sensation, arching slightly before bolting up. Heero stood beside her so the sun didn't betray his presence. He had taken off the stupid blond hair and cap and had reverted back to his familiar look. She smiled at him, almost forgetting that she should be angry. The water dampened the front of her shorts. She swiped some of it off her skin, playfully flicking it at him. "For someone who insists on me wearing more clothes, you sure are doing your part to bring attention to my body."

Heero offered her back her drink. She gratefully took it from him. When she had left him, the iced coffee had been melty, but now it was as good as new. She knew Heero was cold and incredibly talented, but she was pretty sure his brilliance didn't extend to refreezing her drink. He had bought her a new one. She took a drink and grinned at him with an almost love stricken expression on her face. What made it worse was how aware she was of it.

"Thanks." She muttered, watching hopelessly as he stripped out of his shirt. Gulping down her drink, she tried to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth. Gorgeous was too weak a word. Unexpectedly, he brought his water bottle up to his head and poured it over his face. She watched, eyes wide and blind to the rest of the world as drops of water trailed over his shoulders and chest, and then down, down, down to lick at his navel. Relena swallowed. "You did that on purpose." She whispered breathlessly, congratulating herself for her voice only breaking once.

He smirked at her. It was that infuriating curl of lips that was confident of exactly how he looked.

Perfect.

She wanted to jump him so badly. Maybe Hilde was right.

He spread his shirt on the ground and sat on it.

"What are you doing?"

"Joining you." He unsnapped the top button of his jeans.

Relena took a sharp breath. "You're wearing something under those, right?" She tried joking, but she also knew that sometimes he didn't. She hadn't gained that knowledge in any fun ways either.

He gave her that superior look that screamed she had said something stupid. "You should know. The same as I know you're wearing something under those." He gestured to her shorts.

Relena licked her lips before answering. "I'm not." She stared at him challengingly.

Heero went very still.

Relena smirked at him.

He left his pants on.

"Slipping on to a connecting plane at the airport." He changed the subject, lying down so that he was facing her. "It was a good ploy, but easily traced."

Relena shrugged.

"Did you think I wouldn't find you?" He continued coolly.

"I knew you would eventually." She reached over and brushed some sand off his shoulder, trying to keep him within reaching distance. Just a minute before he had been so touchable and edible but now he was deliberately pulling away.

"And this last trick you pulled, did you think you could walk right by me?"

"No." She replied, letting the anger infuse into her voice, attempting to match the ice he was spewing at her.

"Stop risking your life. It isn't a game."

"No, it's not a game." She laughed harshly.

Heero jammed his sunglasses back on his face. "Look at you." He sneered. "You're just inviting rapists and perverts to rip off your little shorts and ram it to you."

For a moment she was speechless with shock. Heero never talked to her like that. He didn't talk to ANYONE like that. God, she had wished for him to sit down and have a conversation with her, and this is what she got. Sheer cruelty. "Them or you?" She practically screamed at him, hitting his chest with her hand. "Right now," She lowered her voice drastically, as if she were sharing a secret. "I'd rather take my chances with them."

"That can be arranged. I know a lot of guys at work who would love to get into your pants." His eyes flicked over her, no longer flirty and hot. "Such as they are."

"I bet I know who is on the top of that list." She looked at him pointedly, scrambling to her feet before he could see the pain in her eyes. He was still lounging against the sand, sun gleaming down on him as if he were a Greek god. She no longer wanted to jump him in a sexual context, but clawing at his eyes would feel pretty good right now.

"Relena," He spoke slowly, as if she were a naïve child who said something dimwitted. "If I wanted to fuck you, I'd have done it years ago."

She inhaled a sob, quickly turning. With a small amount of satisfaction she noticed she had accidentally kicked sand over him. "I have to go. Bathroom." She stumbled a few feet in the sand, and then laughed mirthlessly. "Don't worry, you figured that trick out already." She managed to keep her voice strong despite the tears streaming down her face. Then she ran for the bathroom, clasping an arm over her chest to keep everything in place and desperately trying to ignore the protesting twinges in her ankle.

Heero scrambled to his feet, and called her name once. He took a moment to grab all their stuff.

"You're a bastard." The girl sitting next to him said as he knelt to scoop everything into his arms. Before he could reply, she slammed a cooler cover into his head. Heero didn't even falter, just turned and glared for a second and then took off.

Relena rushed through the door of the washroom, breathing hard as she tried to control the sobs wracking her whole body. Not bothering to stop, she ran through the back door. She had to dash in plain sight to get to her car, but at this point she just wanted to leave. Maybe he wouldn't find her in the Artic. She jumped in her convertible, not bothering to open the door. Her hands were trembling as she ran her thumb over the print-identification pad on the dash. The car roared to life. Relena allowed herself a moment to press her forehead on the burning steering wheel.

Heero bolted over the railing and dashed into the parking lot. Relena narrowed her eyes, easing the car out of the parking space. She could go left and avoid him, or right and confront him. The car moved right almost on its own accord. Heero stood in the middle of the lane, calmly waiting for her.

She saw red. The convertible accelerated towards him. Heero watched, daring her to come closer, as if he was guaranteed to win this little showdown. Relena kept her foot pressed on the pedal. The car sped up.

She locked eyes with Heero seconds before mowing him down.

Someone shrieked. It might have been her. The stuff in his arms scattered and blocked her view for a second.

"Stop the car." He somehow remained calm.

"Get off my windshield!" She screamed back, frantically motioning him to move.

"Stop. The. Car." He was now crouched as if he would pounce on her while driving.

She could almost see through his legs. She stomped on the brakes and turned the steering wheel in unison. The car fishtailed with a screech of rubber. Heero rolled over to the other side of the car's nose. Relena's eyes widened as she noticed how close she came to crashing the car. She gave him a cold look and continued out of the lot.

Heero was now standing, doing some of the craziest surfing ever seen at this particular beach. He grabbed the top of her windshield and jumped. Midair he managed to twist and land almost effortlessly in the seat. A smattering of applause came from the beach.

"You should have gotten out of the way." She scowled at him. "If you thought I was going to stop…"

Heero remained silent.

"I hope I broke your leg." Relena was back to crying. Oh God. She had ploughed into Heero with her car as if he were mechanic at the Indie500. "You deserved it." She sniffled.

"Pull over."

She shot him an incredulous look. Hadn't he learned anything about bossing her around?

"I…" He stopped and took off his sunglasses in that frustrated motion she had first identified him with. One of the lenses was smashed and the frame bent like it had been run over by a car.

Relena looked smug. "You what?" She didn't really want to hear anything he had to say, but running him over had certain recuperative properties. If he said something hurtful now, maybe she could convince him to lie behind the car so she could back over him a few times.

"I'm sorry." He looked directly at her, and then reached over and wiped the tears off her face.

Relena broke. She didn't even know what he was apologizing for. It could be for implying she was a slut; for telling her he didn't want her; for the fact he didn't want her; for losing all her stuff when she ran him down; for denting her car; for being an ass in general; for… It didn't really matter. Heero hardly ever apologized for anything.

"Pull over." His voice was a little frantic as her eyes watered again and she couldn't see the road. She yanked the steering wheel to the right, crossing another lane of traffic to get to the edge of the road. A battalion of honking trailed behind her; she could have caused a pile-up and she couldn't blink enough tears out of her eyes to turn and watch.

"What are you apologizing for?" She blubbered, frantically searching the storage compartment in front of Heero for some Kleenex. He plucked several out of the package with one hand, while readjusting her top with the other. She blew her nose with a loud wet sound. He didn't even wince. Points for him.

"Everything." He took off her wig, tossing it out the side of the car. It had been half coming off since the parking-lot. "I kissed you, remember?"

"Is THAT what you're apologizing for?" She threw her snotty tissues at him. He battled with them for a minute as she tried to jump out her door and into oncoming traffic. If she got hit, it might be less painful. Heero grabbed her wrist and yanked her across the driver's seat. She landed half sprawled against him, half wedged between the seats.

"Just accept my apology." He growled, looming over her.

Relena glared. He was so dense sometimes. She grabbed one of her used Kleenex off his chest and shoved it at him. "Eat the tissue."

"What?" He picked her up so she was sitting on his lap.

She tried to smile sweetly, but she was sure it came out brittle. "If you're sorry. Eat. The. Tissue."

Heero stared at her as if she were insane. Truthfully, she wasn't feeling completely in her rightful mind.

"If my body fluid is so disgusting to you, then I guess you have nothing to be sorry for." She scrambled off him, digging her elbow deep into his ribs. "Let go of me, I might breathe on you."

Heero didn't even blink. Instead he pulled her closer to him and tucked her head under his chin. "I understand." He murmured gently. He didn't apologize again, but he also didn't let her go.

It wasn't a declaration of love, or even want, but it would have to do. For now.


End file.
